We are in #lockdown

Today is 21 days that we have been at home due to the COVID--19 pandemic. As I write it feels unreal and long. Started mid-March and it's April already!!

I will not write about the virus because I believe EVERYONE who is alive

knows about the severity & importance of staying in. I am happy that Spain locked us down pretty early on and every day I am hoping for the number of cases and deaths to go down. And most importantly and quite selfishly to go down before we are going to welcome our baby into this world. Selfishly, because I do want this pandemic to end and stop taking so many peoples life's, but at this point, I am very concerned about my family and our unborn baby.

There are days when I calm myself down and think that we still have around 4 weeks to go in this pregnancy journey and hopefully things will start changing by then. On other days I just feel helpless and afraid to be welcoming this baby to the world during this time of uncertainty and chaos.

I know that no one could have predicted or expected this to happen. But now we are living in this pandemic and I feel for all the mamas to be. This time is not only stressful during the best of times, but now we have this additional stress to deal with. In Lithuania, the husbands are not allowed to participate during the delivery, and I think it is completely insane. It is not helping any mama. Especially knowing that husband and wife come from the same household and share the germs regularly. For now, my doctor has told me that this is not what they are doing here in Spain, but no one knows what might happen in the future. This terrifies me because the only person I want there with me is my husband. I will continue to think positively and not even imagine the delivery without him. Of course, he would not want that either, he said he is ready to scrub up like a doctor and sneak in the hospital without permission, and if worst would come to worst I know he would do everything possible to be there, and this makes me happy.

Another big thing is the doctor's appointments, baby check-ups. So many girls have had them canceled due to the risks of coming to the hospital or reduced to the minimum. Same here, we have been once for the regular check and then for the blood test. The next appointment will be in 3 weeks when it's almost go time for me. I feel for all the mamas, I know we are deprived of some things at this time. But we will make it through, we will have our healthy babies in our arms soon enough and this pandemic will be long gone.

To me the emptiness and the fear that lingers in the air is the craziest experience. We are wearing masks and gloves, keeping the distance from everyone, but the thought of the virus possibly being anywhere around you is scary. I must mention that the ONLY times I have been out of the house is for those appointments, I have not gone anywhere else. My husband does our groceries every 5days, also wearing all the protective gear. I do admire Spanish people who have been panic buying anything really, (especially not the toilet paper how we see Australians and Americans doing, and it's the most stupid thing I can imagine), the stores are stocked of fresh produce and that keeps us calm, knowing that we will not be starving.

Otherwise, I have to say the life at home with my favourite person is pretty wonderful. We work on not letting the negative thoughts here and embracing the last weeks alone. We workout, cook, bake, laugh and play stupid games. I am very grateful that we are healthy and do not need to worry about too many things at the moment. Just how to keep our immune systems strong and continue to be healthy, hydrated and happy.

I am sorry for my scattered thoughts on this. I feel I have so much to say.

I really hope everyone is healthy, and taking all the possible precautions to stay that way.

To mommas-to-be we are strong, and there is nothing that will bring us down. Keep up the positive thinking and we will make it through!

With love,

MM